Spatula Of Death
                 The Internet's Leading Antisocial Network
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WTF?! ... A Resource For Information

This site is the leading Antisocial Network. An Antisocial Network is just like a social network, except instead of being a place to foster friendship it is a place to vent anger & frustration. We here at Spatula Of Death felt that people who are pissed off are underserved in the current social networking landscape.

Another key element that sets this site apart is that its centerpiece is a physical object in the real world that can be abused by the community. This might remind some of "Internet Hunting", where users could remotely shoot a real gun at real animals in Texas via a web cam. Spatual Of Death takes this model and makes it more benign. So users still get something approximating the feeling of shooting a deer in the head remotely without any animals dying.

On every other social network you connect with your friends. here, you connect with enemies. Now the extent to which these people are real enemeies of yours or even real people is of little concern to Spatula Of Death. They could even be your friends who have a sense of humor. Really, it is not a big deal. The benefit of making enemies with someone is that then you can leave snarky comments on their profile.

Another note: you don't need someone's approval to become enemies with them. Enmity, like gravity, seems to take care of itself.

The live webcam shows the Cage Of Sorrow which is rigged with the Spatula Of Death. Once you are logged in, you can remotely smack the wretched prisoner in the cage with the spatula. Each act of doing so is called a "Smite". Each Smiting must be dedicated. It can be dedicated to another user (by navigating to their profile and clicking "Smite" under "Actions") or you can enter a custom target in a free-form text field. In either case you also must enter some dedication text to justify yourself.

Other users can rate your Smite, so be clever about it.

A Douchebag Point™ is a way to reward users for being douchebags. You get points every time you smite someone or something. You get a point for rating a Smite. You get alot of points for referring new users. This is to recognize the fact that you wasted precious moments of your life to ensure that others would waste precious moments of theirs. You fucking douchebag.

From the Urban Dictionary:

Douchebag (noun):

  1. Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker.
  2. A student or instructor at the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota Twin Cities.

Your password is encrypted when you set it so not even the webmaster knows what it is. All data including your e-mail address and name are kept absolutely private.* None of your information (or anything, really) will ever be sold.

* The Spatula Of Death Privacy Policy may stick to certain types of skin. If the Spatula Of Death Privacy Policy begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. When not in use, the Spatula Of Death Privacy Policy should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the Spatula Of Death of any and all liability. The Spatula Of Death Privacy Policy is not unlike Happy Fun Ball. Ingredients of the Spatula Of Death Privacy Policy include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. The Spatula Of Death Privacy Policy has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt the Spatula Of Death Privacy Policy. Discontinue use of the Spatula Of Death Privacy Policy if any of the following occurs: Itching, Vertigo, Dizziness, Tingling in extremities, Loss of balance or coordination, Slurred speech, Temporary blindness, Profuse sweating, Heart palpitations.

Go to your profile. Under your picture are your profile settings. One of them is a checkbox. Un-check it and you are off the mailing list.

Because the technology behind the site can only withstand one ugly picture of you.

Listen to your heart.

questions, answers, recriminations: